Wednesday, we began our first day of school by reading from Proverbs. That went fairly well, but within minutes of beginning our book work, two of the kids were fighting...again. Over the past year, I've felt like I have slowly lost control when it comes to enforcing structure to our day and the first day of school just proved it was more than a feeling.
TJ gets very frustrated when writing. He feels like he writes too slowly and that it's messy. Well, he's right, but I'm his teacher and I don't care as long as he does the work and improves. He has beautiful writing when he's working in his handwriting book, but otherwise, it IS pretty messy. He just becomes impatient with himself and gives up, saying he's stupid.
We had a rough last school year. Academics took a backseat to everything else that we did. But this year was going to be different. I had no excuse. The little boys were in school, so it was just the older three kids and me. Should be a breeze! It wasn't. We wasted an hour trying to work out attitude problems. At the end of that hour, I told Ken that I was at the end of my rope. So he called the elementary school and asked for a tour and for enrollment information. Ken and I had discussed the possibility before. We could put TJ in school for one-to-two semesters so he could live out the structure of discipline of the average school day, then we would bring him back home where he would use the tools he learned in a public school setting.
Walking into the school, I felt no peace. TJ was curious to see it, but was on the verge of tears the entire time. The secretary who showed us around was such a sweet lady. She made the discomfort I was feeling reduce greatly. By the end of the tour, TJ, who still looked as if he was going to burst into tears, said he truly wanted to try public school.
So that's what he did. Thursday, he donned his backpack and hit the fourth grade. He was nervous, but his curiosity trumped his nervousness, so off he marched. I prayed that he would have a good day. I felt sick to my stomach.
I should note, I've had total peace about the two littles being at TSD. It seems so counter to everything in me to send my baby boys off to school at ages 3 and 4, but when we are there, it feels like home. It feels like the exact right place for them right now. I didn't have those same feelings when leaving the elementary campus Thursday morning. (continued....)