Signs of Life : The Brownie Chronicles

A few things we've learned and what we would like others to understand: This happens to normal families.  I don't know what I was expecting, but the families in our Intensive Outpatient Program were normal, caring, intact families.  Through this process, I've become less judgmental of parents who have what appears to be a difficult teen.  I'll add that these were all families willing to put in some serious time commitment and work to help their teens and themselves heal and improve.  This DBT group was not court-mandated, but completely voluntary. We were honored to share life with these families during the 7-week program. Parents can't discipline or force their kids into mental health.   We as parents have had to become very aware of behaviors that are simply typical teenage rebellion, which result in discipline, or behaviors that occur because our teen truly does not know how to respond appropriately or how to manage a particular emotion she's having....

Since the first week in April when our teen went to an inpatient hospital, we've set up regular visits with a psychiatrist and therapist. We learned of and used an excellent service here in Austin, the Mobile Crisis Outreach Team , who will come out to the house to check on a patient. What an amazing service.  After a second hospitalization in May, we learned that not all hospitals are created equal.  While Shoal Creek doesn't look like much at first glance, they provide excellent care. Due to a lack of beds available in May, we were forced to send our teen to another, newer, seemingly nicer, inpatient facility in town.  Just two-and-a-half days there led us to get her out and file a formal complaint with the state.  Fortunately, she was able to get a bed a Shoal Creek fairly quickly and got the care she needed. This time, upon discharge, we were set up with IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) in a group called " DBT ." Thursday was our last night of the 7-week, 3-...

I’ll never forget the moment my teen first came to me and showed me the cuts on her arms.  I said the first thing that came into my head.  Big mistake.  I rolled my eyes, “Really?  That is SO stupid.” I wish I could take it back.  I’ve learned a lot since that August afternoon; one of those things being to bite my tongue and look for a way to validate what she’s experiencing.  The first thought in my head is most often not the appropriate response.  A better response would have been,  “Thank you for coming to me. Can we talk about it?” or “Wow…I’m not sure what to say right now,” or "I'm sorry I didn't realize how bad you were feeling." I simply could have hugged her.  But in that moment, I was angry.  I was instantly hearing criticism in my own head, “If you were a better mom, she never would have done this.”  “That family member was right. You couldn’t even manage 3 kids, so why would you have 2 more?”  I also heard, “Don't...

Flying high at our neighborhood park. A few months ago, the older 3 Brownies and I made a summer bucket list.  Much of that list consisted of some of Texas' best swimming holes .  We made it to 3 of the places on this list, plus a few more to boot. In the Texas summer heat, staying cool in the springs is one of the only ways we can enjoy the outdoors, although finding some nice shade in the awesome parks around here will also do, especially in the hours before noon or just before dusk. Our Austin June Fun Giving Sid some lovin'! We kicked off June by celebrating Austin's own celebrity dog, Sid's recovery from an unfortunate accident.  We had been following Sid on Instagram and Facebook for over a year and were happy to finally meet him and under such celebratory circumstances.  As the sun set, we were treated to a show by talented performers, Tian and Travis. Our first swimming hole of the summer was Jacob's Well .  We were drawn to this locatio...

Sculpture Falls Shallow water, perfect for the littles and the dogs. Over the past couple of weeks, so many friends have been asking about these two swimming holes, I decided to post a blog complete with maps and tips.  Sculpture Falls is our favorite swimming hole so far, and we've been to many in the area: Jacob's Well, Twin Falls, Barton Springs, Deep Eddy, San Marcos' Rio Vista Dam. Sculpture Falls is our favorite for several reasons: crystal clear water, a couple of diving spots, wading in the shallow pools, sitting under the falls, and great snorkeling. The "sculpture" part of Sculpture Falls. See the ledge downstream to the right? Perfect place for jumping into deeper waters. (Always check depth before jumping, as it changes with the rains.) The first map shows the two possible ways in to Sculpture Falls.  The purple route is what I like to call the Hell Hike.  I'll review that hike first: I snapped this on the way down to the w...

It was not easy for me to send my boys off to school when they were 3 and 4.  It wasn't much easier this year when they were 4 and 5, but what added to my mommy anxiety was having them ride the big, yellow school bus home every day. The boys loved seeing the busses at school and wanted to ride. Having them driven to our front door was a huge benefit to our homeschool schedule as well, so we decided to put them on the bus for the first time this year. We have been very fortunate to have an amazing bus driver who truly cares for the kids she's transporting.  She's Deaf.  That fact may worry some hearing people.  I forget that it's not common knowledge that Deaf people are perfectly capable (even better) of driving. I'm reminded when hearing people ask me if my husband can drive. (I must add that I haven't heard that question once since we've lived in Austin.)  When I did Deaf culture training with police in Oklahoma, half of the officers weren't sure a...

With many things in life, we take sides. We are either "for" or "against." On each side, you'll find extremists who will spin data to fit their view. Homeschooling, vaccinations, cochlear implants... you name it, we can argue about it. I often don't share a lot of intactivism material because much of it is in-your-face and extreme, even vulgar.   Intactivism is the support of keeping children intact without altering their genitals in any way.  Finally, a very well-done, scientific, reasonable video about genital cutting, which we call circumcision.  (He will talk about why our language is important.) Here's an article about it, too.  This is NOT intended pour guilt on parents who have already had their children circumcised. We parents simply have done what our parents and their parents did. We did what was culturally acceptable and even expected. We didn't have all the information. Parents are also victims of the practice.  But knowledge ...