Signs of Life : The Brownie Chronicles

Before this week, I had drafted a blog post titled "Among Us - 2020 Memories."  I had planned to reflect back on the neighborhood walks, hikes and baking we did early in the pandemic, then how the routines became so mundane after 8 weeks or so. Then this storm blew in and I couldn't even focus. But before I move to February 2021, let me start with a few ways we've stayed distracted and busy during the past 11 months.  The upsides to the hellish year of pandemic. For years, Ken had been looking at electric bikes, so he decided to take the dive and order a couple of Rad Power Bikes . That was something fun for the people over age 16 in the family.  Eventually, we got a child seat for the bike so our grandkid could also enjoy getting out.  We also found other family fun distractions like: playing Among Us having video chats on the Facebook Portal jumping on the trampoline that was handed down to us the week we moved to Austin. (Thanks, Suzie!) chalk art on the driveway ...

At church, we've been studying the book of Exodus.  Today, we focused on Moses' response to God calling him (from the burning bush, if you remember the story) to go convince the Egyptian king to free the millions of Israelite slaves. God tells Moses to go AND follows up his command with promises and encouragement: I will lead you. The elders will accept your message. I will raise my hand and strike the Egyptians. He (the king) will let you go. Moses's response?  "What if they don't believe me?" God has just said, "The elders will accept your message."  Obviously, Moses doesn't think God is telling the truth. So God preforms THREE miracles to encourage Moses.  Each miracle proves that nothing is more powerful than God.  No fear, no seemingly-unbeatable enemy, no national superpower. (Read the story in Exodus chapters 3 and 4. ) Moses' response? "Lord, I'm not good with words. I've never been. My words get all...

A few things we've learned and what we would like others to understand: This happens to normal families.  I don't know what I was expecting, but the families in our Intensive Outpatient Program were normal, caring, intact families.  Through this process, I've become less judgmental of parents who have what appears to be a difficult teen.  I'll add that these were all families willing to put in some serious time commitment and work to help their teens and themselves heal and improve.  This DBT group was not court-mandated, but completely voluntary. We were honored to share life with these families during the 7-week program. Parents can't discipline or force their kids into mental health.   We as parents have had to become very aware of behaviors that are simply typical teenage rebellion, which result in discipline, or behaviors that occur because our teen truly does not know how to respond appropriately or how to manage a particular emotion she's having....

Since the first week in April when our teen went to an inpatient hospital, we've set up regular visits with a psychiatrist and therapist. We learned of and used an excellent service here in Austin, the Mobile Crisis Outreach Team , who will come out to the house to check on a patient. What an amazing service.  After a second hospitalization in May, we learned that not all hospitals are created equal.  While Shoal Creek doesn't look like much at first glance, they provide excellent care. Due to a lack of beds available in May, we were forced to send our teen to another, newer, seemingly nicer, inpatient facility in town.  Just two-and-a-half days there led us to get her out and file a formal complaint with the state.  Fortunately, she was able to get a bed a Shoal Creek fairly quickly and got the care she needed. This time, upon discharge, we were set up with IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) in a group called " DBT ." Thursday was our last night of the 7-week, 3-...

I’ll never forget the moment my teen first came to me and showed me the cuts on her arms.  I said the first thing that came into my head.  Big mistake.  I rolled my eyes, “Really?  That is SO stupid.” I wish I could take it back.  I’ve learned a lot since that August afternoon; one of those things being to bite my tongue and look for a way to validate what she’s experiencing.  The first thought in my head is most often not the appropriate response.  A better response would have been,  “Thank you for coming to me. Can we talk about it?” or “Wow…I’m not sure what to say right now,” or "I'm sorry I didn't realize how bad you were feeling." I simply could have hugged her.  But in that moment, I was angry.  I was instantly hearing criticism in my own head, “If you were a better mom, she never would have done this.”  “That family member was right. You couldn’t even manage 3 kids, so why would you have 2 more?”  I also heard, “Don't...

It's hard to believe I posted this entry in November of last year, but I did!  I went looking for this old entry and figured I posted it back in February or something.  I was shocked that it was from November! I had posted: "Because of the season of life I'm in (nearing 40, newly-expanded family, major life-changing move, and weight gain that ticks me off greatly), I've been experiencing days feeling very low.  I've blogged before about how I don't like using the word "depressed" lightly, so I don't think I'll use it here.  But I've been feeling dark, low, melancholy, aimless, and tired." Since November, those feelings didn't go away.  Oh, they might subside for a time, but would rear their ugly heads at any random time.  In addition to those feelings, I was experiencing an overwhelming feeling of failure.   These feelings would manifest themselves by my simply giving up and doing nothing.  I felt so overwhelmed by everythin...