Ken nor I could have imagined that one year later, we would have only been home a month....and with TWO little ones!
We are beyond thankful that we didn't let others' reactions deter us from bringing home both Tian and Travis. I wish I could have captured some of the faces and "are they crazy?!" glances we saw when we told people we were even considering adopting two. It happened so much that I began to preface our announcement by saying, "I know it's crazy, but...."
It's not crazy. It's what God clearly led us to do. Because Ken and I talked about it, prayed about it, and kept our eyes and hearts open to His leading, we knew when we saw Travis' file that he was our son. We looked at two other files. Last week, out of curiosity, I looked back at those files. I pray they have forever families. I didn't see them on a shared list any more. They are precious boys, too, and worthy of love, hard work, a forever family. But they weren't our boys. I had read over and over again of families who saw a photo and "just knew." It doesn't always happen that way, but it certainly did with us with both boys. Now we can't imagine our days without them both.
The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for
“Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?”
But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:14-16
I wish I could say that I always have "the mind of Christ" in every situation, every decision, every action. That would be a lie. So often, I ask God for direction, but just don't see it. Just as often, I don't even consider seeking God before jumping into a project, confronting my kids or husband in aggravation, or heading to the internet to try to find some help and answers.
This adoption process forced me to my knees. (Not literally. I've never been a knee-pray-er.) The utter uselessness, inability to control, unknowns and downright scary moments leave me completely dependent on Him. The more Ken and I were open to the sometimes frighting things we felt God calling us to, the more He made it clear we were on the right track.
Now, we have these five incredible kids. Two new Brownies that we can't imagine living without. Yes, they wear us out some days. Yes, we'll have to buy more groceries, spend more when we travel, put them in fewer outside activities, wait a few more years before I go back to work, and not give them every single little thing they want, but who can compare those things with the joy they have brought us, the fact that they are out of temporary homes and orphanages, and the fact that we are a family. Forever!
[As a side note, I've seen some chatter on various blogs where people despise the fact that people like me would dare to say these boys being in our family was God's will. "Was it God's will that they be relinquished by their birth family? God's will that Travis be deaf and Tian be born with a deformity? God's will that the boys would be "ripped" (as it is stated) from their birth country?" Yes. I do believe that. As ticked off as that might make some, I most certainly do. Do I believe their suffering (and the suffering of others) grieves the heart of God? Yes. But I also still believe Travis and Tian were always to be a part of our family. I found it interesting that one of the guides in China said the Chinese people themselves believe these kids were "predestined" to be in our families. Interesting.]