Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Birth Day

Today is June 1, the day we will celebrate as Travis' birthday.  I wish I could feel more celebratory.  The truth is, the boys are always on my mind, so today is no different.  The other truth is that I'm a little sad.

I'm sad about the circumstances that surround adoption.  I'm sad for Travis for all the unanswered questions, including what day he was born.  I'm sad for his first family that they felt they couldn't care for a deaf son.  I'm also sad for them as I know they are wondering about him, especially around the time of his birth.  I pray Travis will retain some memories of his first year.  I'm sad that we aren't in China already.

Today, at the orphanage, Travis' birthday won't be celebrated.  Not because he's in an orphanage, but because Chinese people don't celebrate a 3rd birthday.  They celebrate only a few select milestone birthdays.  Even then, it's not like our extravagant American celebrations and it's not even necessarily on their proper birth day. You can read more here about how Chinese do celebrate birthdays in China.  This gives me peace, because I know he's not feeling like he's somehow "missing out" today.  It's just another day to him and those around him and I like that.

Next year, we will celebrate Travis' 4th birthday on June 1 with our son (unless we learn something new about his birthday).

One of my all-time favorites of EnEn
Today, I will be thankful for my son's life.  I will imagine how his first mom felt when she knew "it was time" for him to be born.  Was he born in a hospital like my oldest?  In a home like the other two Brownies?  I will thank God that he was born and well cared-for by his family for that first year, then the nannies in Sanming.  I will wonder about his first 3 years.  Years I will never truly know about.  Years that I hope, as he gets older, he can share with me what he remembers.   I will celebrate our soon-to-happen meeting and homecoming.

On a side note, June 1 is also Children's Day internationally, so many people are celebrating the lives of kids today.

3 comments:

  1. Yes, today is a bittersweet day.

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  2. I completely understand what you are feeling. There are so many things we will NEVER know about our boys. I believe somewhere in the not knowing, the Lord is teaching us something. To trust in Him? To lean on Him more when we don't understand? To know, really know, He is there even in the painful uncomfortable parts of life? God is bringing your boys to your family because He has something really really big planned. And that's pretty cool.

    And Travis will never ever have to spend his birthday alone again. :-D Happy birthday, sweet sweet Travis.

    (((hugs))),
    chris

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